You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
