I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
