32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
