I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
