the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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