We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
