I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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