The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
