So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
