A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
