the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
