I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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