roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
