We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
