I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
