she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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