He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
