Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
