Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Im part way to drunk.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
