I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
