Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was born a porn star she said
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
