Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
