Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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