ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
