I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize