Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
me + whiskey = a bad person
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
