I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
