We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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