If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
