census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
