I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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