No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
