covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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