i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
