Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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