as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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