that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
