i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
