my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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