They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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