considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
