Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
