You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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