I don't remember. Are we still dating?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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