so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
