Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
