Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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