At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
