I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
