I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
