I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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