if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize