wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
