Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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