It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
