Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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