we're blogging at a bar
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
