Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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