My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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