your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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