Got a toothbrush?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
